In Memoriam

After a long talk with a friend in which blogs were brought up, I decided I really should utilize and update my own. This post is probably going to be different from other entries I post here in the future, but a start is a start is a start.

I have been in a huge funk, to say the least, this year. I had a terrible illness that took a few weeks to get over, I bruised a rib and then my Grandma passed away a few weeks ago. I am still having a hard time dealing with her death, I'm not very close to many people and I truly, truly, loved her deeply. I've only talked about it with a few people, I can't really stand the pitied looks I get, it just makes me go back to wanting to cry.

I've been having a hard time caring about anything, things that seemed important aren't so important anymore, I've lost my gusto for school, for improving, for living life as it is. What's it matter when someone you love dies? There have only been a few people that, whether they are aware or not, have helped me deal through this hideous year called 2009.

I wish I could create something beautifully complex, to represent my grandma, however, I only feel hideously managled emotions.

Rest in peace Grandma, may you finally be reunited with your daughter, Laurie. Know that your son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren miss you and love you.